It has been much to long since I have made myself sit down and write. Excuses, excuses! We all have them. Looking at myself these days I seem to be the champion of the underdog. I over volunteer, try to make a little money with my photography now and then and once in a while....I clean the house. Although that is my least favorite thing in the world to do! And, yes mom, I know, it shows. Lately it seems that I am having an influx of traffic into my daily life where the truth is optional, where "shifting" the facts or "omitting" the details is justified to spare the deliverer the pain of simply, tactfully being honest. Being honest is hard. It is even harder when being honest makes the person delivering the news look bad. Like when your honesty, is now your recovery from a lie.
People seem to loose sight of the fact that respect in the eyes of others is derived by integrity, by their word, by their honesty. Respect is never simply given, it is always earned.If you loose your integrity things around you begin to crumble. When you break your word people begin to back away. When you lie, and I am not talking about the little "wow those jeans make you look ten pounds lighter!" kinda lie, you know the kind of lie I am talking about. When you lie like that, you loose a little bit of yourself. You loose the best part of you, the part the people around you love and respect. You loose the color and beauty that God bestowed upon you. The glory that is uniquely yours to share with the world.
Being honest with myself is first and foremost the best way for me to accept others honesty. If I don't know me...who does? If I am comfortable with my strengths, my weaknesses AND my actions nothing someone says will come as a surprise. If I am surprised by a truthful recounting bestowed upon me then I really need to take a better look at getting to know me.
About nine or ten years ago I really woke up to who I am. The good, the could be better and the "wow", really, is that me? But after some reflection I decided what I liked about each of these categories and that there were no things even in the "wow" really category that I wanted to change. I found that I like me. What? What could that mean? How could I like me? I like this woman that the experiences in my life have cultured. She is strong, she is a great communicator, she is pig headed stubborn, she is well researched or she keeps her mouth shut, and she knows how to say I am sorry and I was wrong, with eye contact even when she does not want to. She is dependable, reliable, (except when her kids are sick) sometimes funny, sexy, loving, colorful in expression and life. Sometimes has great hair but mostly what I love about this "me" is that I am directly honest.
Honest with myself firstly. Life is much to short to live without God's wisdom leading us. Choose to live in God's light and your path will become clear. My path was shown about a year after my son was born still, to fight against the wrongs in the world. To be the voice he would never have and speak out against lies and selfishness. Some days I might even be battling myself to follow what God has in his plan but each day I choose to keep up the fight.
Find your voice today to be directly honest with yourself! Once you do that the rest will fall into place and your little corner of the world will blossom into such beauty as you have never imagined.
~ Nita
