DYNAMITE!

There is nothing in the world quite like traveling with the people you love.  Everyone is on their own schedule, although trying hard to share the stage of decision making with all the other travelers, while still maintaining control of the situation, at least in their own head, and to their advantage.

Recently my family has been cooped up in the car for a couple of short trips which always leads to exciting moments that could rock the boat, or at the very least, make life a little more interesting.  The best things happen when no one is watching, like, when my husband caught on video a big brother, and, little sister singing their favorite song together.   If not for the video evidence, in 10 years would either of them admit they did this?  Let alone, that at one time they liked each other, and, would sing together!

These are the moments I choose to keep.  Letting go of the petty bickering for controlling interest in which of the rest areas we will stop at, and, how many gift shops the group will visit took me a day or two, but now it’s on to brighter days, and, new songs.   

One of my favorite annual trips is to the Rail Road Park Resort click here to visit the Rail Road Park Resort  in Dunsmuir, CA. where spending the night in a revamped rail car, or caboose nestled underneath the outcroppings of the Castle Crags click here to visit Castle Crags state park brings shouts of glee to our family as we arrive.

The search can bring as much joy as the discovery.  

Surrounded, or, rather burrowed into the history of the car I can let my mind wander and imagine the lives of people using this rail car for work, recreation, travel, or surreptitious affairs in days long gone.  The conversations that took place, the laughter, passion, heartbreak, and, hope that flowed through these faceless people generations before me is a lust worth savoring for an imaginative mind.  Creating the people who worked, and traveled on these ancient rail cars is better than a Louis L'Amour novel, well, it is when I’m staying here anyway. 

Rail Road Park Resort, Dunsmuir, California

I am certain that back in the day of these rail cars being used they were at times filled with laughter, an occasional argument, which, once in a while, would erupt into a well-attended fist fight.  Remember that the era of these wood sided rail cars, demanded swift action without delay, and for that era few things would have been better than fists for swift punishment upon an attack.  Hesitation would certainly bring worse problems upon you.  These workers were real, living, breathing humans, with dreams, hopes, passions, loves, and lovers.  Courage wasn’t an option for anyone.  It was with this word that life was lived, or, life was destroyed.

 

Do you live with courage today?  Some days I do.  Other days I would rather pull a blanket over my head, pretending that I didn’t see that, hear that, or, have to deal with that.  This year seems to be my year of proving myself courageous, if only in my own eyes.  Such turmoil has surrounded my community this year, but, from verbal attacking mayhem, can come great pleasure in realizing how resilient you truly are.  In standing tall, and arming yourself with researched truths, eyes that are not blind to obtainable facts, and filling your heart with courage, the ugliness attacking at you will fall away into the darkness you have walked away from, and all of it by simply educating yourself.

Courage....comes in all forms.

Simple pleasures, like children singing without a care, or the momentary glances into the soul of another who is courageous can give me hope in the dark of the night.  Hope that angst will befall those walking with a dark heart.  Hope that my loves will flourish, and, that these loves reach out for the courage inside them, for it is a powerful tool to have on hand, and grabbing onto it will open doors never before dreamed of by them. 

Like these old wooden rail cars where so many have passed through, and so much living has taken place, sometimes courage will erupt from you when you least expect it, in small ways that you might not recognize as courageous, but courage shows it’s face in many forms.  These eruptions will bring forth new delights, relationships, desires, and, rewards. 

Courage will let you release the obstacles holding you back, and live to a code that is set by you, for you. In finding your courage, Life Will Find A Way to let your heart dance, support you in your quest, and to dream of things you mustn’t (it’s a word I tell you!) act upon, like punching someone you’ve been cooped up in the car with for hours on end.  All you can do sometimes is turn up the music, and, dream about how you can grab the courage inside of you, that is waiting to explode like dynamite.  

~Nita Lundberg

     

Getting dirty...

Sometimes life is just, well, a little dirty.  Today my six year old on the way back to the car after soccer practice was being silly, joking around with himself, and was heard by my husband saying “middle finger you!”  Over, and, over.  Again, and, again, until dad, who is also a coach of the team, could get him in the car, and explain the situation to him.  Mind you, there were no gestures; just something he had overheard his older brother yell at me, mama, months ago during a nine year old to mama battle. 

A few months back my enraged son screamed, “Middle finger you mom!”  Well, I couldn't do anything but laugh!  Hysterically!  I mean, here was my nine year old screaming an obscenity at me, which if he knew anything would have been gestured at me!  Funny, right?  Well my nine year old just looked at me like I was insane.  Not like a teenager would look at you when you are light-years away from them on every level, but, like a nine year old who knows they’re in deep trouble, but you are just not making any sense at the moment. 

When my laughter slowed to a point where I could finally talk to him, I asked if he knew what that meant, and, honestly, thankfully, he said no.  So, I explained it.  In grown up words, and, terms, with the gesture.  He was shocked.  Mortified. “Thank God!” I silently screamed in my head at his newly shamed state.  

Then I asked, “Where did you hear that?”  Now, I can cuss like a sailor on leave in a faraway port, but, I am not the guilty party when it comes to gestures.   Gestures are not my game. 

With eyes as big as moons he looked at me, and replied, “At school.”  Hmmm.  Where to go with this now?  I thought for a moment, letting the little screamer squirm on the stairs like an eel about to slip away.  You could just see him wishing the stairs would swallow him up!  After some mental debate with myself, I decided on this, “Well, you can just go back to school and tell who ever told you that, what it means, and, what it got you.”

Life will always find a little dirt to plant a seed...

Then he begrudgingly followed me to the bathroom for a squirt of soap, which was applied directly to his braces for maximum tastiness.  While he trotted down the stairs, most certainly to scrub out his mouth with the first piece of clothing he could find, I snickered, and, giggled over his outburst for the rest of the night. 

Now, back to tonight and, my six year olds repetitive, laughing, squawking little voice saying, “middle finger” on the way to the car.  I think he got the message from his mortified dad who laid down the rules clear, and, direct to him about things that are jokes, and, not so much jokes. 

So, as everyone came into the house tonight from practice, and, my husband related his parking lot adventure to me, of which, of course happened within ear shot of one of the families on the team.  I started to laugh.  Not just a little, but the kind of laugh that will get me snorting for breath!  If you know me, you’ll know what I mean.  For goodness sake!  This hasn't been mentioned in our house since the nine year old originally said it, and, of course he heard me telling grandma about it.  Now months later, it’s come full circle with another child, in a dirty, gravel filled parking lot, with kids, and grown-ups all around my horrified husband.   

Who would ever guess the millions of ways that life will come around in tiny little repetitive waves to complete circles of these moments within the daily adventure of my life?  Each day there are beginnings created by a broadcast of interactions at every direction, and sometimes, sometimes we get to reap the funny, cute, wonderfully dirty harvest of the seeds planted last month.

One things for certain on a harvest as good as this one, it’ll make it to the final memories when all I have left is a few vibrant moments from my life that I will repeat a million times to the few ears who will still listen to an old woman telling the story of her life, “Back in the good ‘ol days.”   When there was less cement, and more dirt.  

~Nita Lundberg

Life Will Find A Way…..    

Life.  Mine, yours, or the hound dog next door, it is no matter, because where ever I look I am reminded that it really is the daily act of living that defines who we are, who we have become, and, what we will leave behind when the dust of our bones and, memories of the living is all remains of us. 

Every gravel road will bring beauty.

I have five children.  This truly defines the complex combination of who I am.  A wife, and, mother of five babies dropped by the stork into waiting arms.  Arms that were empty, and waiting for ten years.  I find it necessary to illuminate this because only four of my children are living.  Only four voices have I heard.  Only four babies have looked into my eyes.  Only one baby awaits me in the arms of an angel.  Surviving the loss of Noah, and raising his three brothers, and baby sister, has been the greatest undertaking of my life. 

The passion, laughter, over achieving spark, and stubbornness that I put into everything that passes in-front of my path in this life keeps me walking a prescription free, gravel embedded corridor of sanity.  Seek out the hope in each moment, celebrate the smallest successes, photograph it beautifully the first time for you may never again have the chance to, and, smile.  Smile when the tears fall, when the darkness looms, when your world feels uncontrollable.  Sometimes a smile is all you can offer.  A smile can change someone else’s day, and we really don’t have to look very hard to find someone else with a problem that is throwing sand in their eyes.  Someone, who has had a loss, someone, who feels alone, someone, on the verge of falling into the volcano of insanity we have all stood on the rim of.  Each, and every one of us knows, that living, is anything but easy.   

This blog will not always be about the creation of life, and what may spring forth from a crevice of dirt in an abandoned parking lot, some days, like today, it is about the simple daily mundane routine of laundry, dishes, getting more milk, and, yogurt, which feeds the persistence that my life will find a way.  My heart will find a way to laugh, a way to succeed, a way to smile, a way to keep grief from consuming me, for it, the grief, is never gone.  It is a devil kept at bay by over commitment, and a burning hatred of failure. 

Here in these lines I set out to show through a combination of photography, and writing that everywhere you look Life Will Find A Way…..

~Nita Lundberg

Dedicated on this, the 15th of October, 2012, the 10 year anniversary of the birth of our first born sons:  to Ron Lundberg, and our children; Isaiah Lundberg, Noah Lundberg born still, Elijah Lundberg, Gideon Lundberg, Sarah Lundberg